Fall Hath Fallen

Yep, it's officially fall here in the shitty part of the world I call home. The stores have had Halloween crap strewn about since the second week of September. People started decorating their homes and yards not long after. I made an observation on that note: the lower class you are the earlier and more elaborately you decorate for Halloween.

I actually do like Halloween. What better holiday? You dress up so nobody knows who you are and then you go to strangers and take candy. It's so twisted. Who can resist strangers with candy!? Still, there's a time and a place. At least spare me until mid-October, please, I beg you. That doesn't mean I can't start buying the candy and consume it in mass quantities starting now.

The leaves, oh the leaves. Aren't they just beautiful in other people's yards? Mine is littered with a thick carpet of those little carnival colored bastards. I will not rake however much of our 2.5 acres is mowed. I just refuse. That leaves me with one option: mow over them with my non-mulching tractor all into the center of the lawn and then mow over them with the mulching push mower. What a hassle just so they can come down in droves the minute I finish, before I can even gaze about with a feeling of accomplishment. Then there's the lawn tractor. I tend to beat it up horribly, therefore it's currently incapacitated. What, may you ask, can one do to destroy a lawn tractor? Well, let me tell you. It's all very simple. I have a multitude of trees (yes, all leafy) in my mowed section of lawn. I try diligently to mow as close to those trees as possible. Push mowing sucks and the more I leave un-mowed by the tractor, the more I have to push. Got it? So the damn trees sneak up on me when I am sure I am just close enough to mow without hitting the base of the trunk. They dive sideways and bam! I sideswipe the trunks. Know what that does to a big expensive lawn tractor? Let me tell you: it bends the metal deck under which the blade is supposed to spin. The blade will no longer spin without hitting the dent and making a horrible noise if it doesn't cut right through the deck. I know for a fact. I've done this twice in two months. Luckily, I have a handy friend who can fix about anything. He bails me out, laughing at me the whole time, like any good friend would do.

Finally, there's the telltale chill in the air and the early darkness of impending winter. I won't say the four letter S word that I immediately think of when I think of winter in Central New York. There'll be lots of it in due time. All in due time. That means way too soon, in my opinion. We get too much of it, too. It can start in October and take us straight into late March or early April. Doesn't that just suck? Trust me, it does. Then, to make matters worse I moved into an area that is renown for getting more. What was I thinking? The house also seems to have broken thermostats in the bedrooms. Joy!

Trick or F'ing Treat!