I found the obscure school with my GPS despite the one lane bridge and the middle-of-nowhere locale. Thank you, Tom Tom! (It has gotten us terribly lost before, trust me.) This is my kids' school district, but we're new to the area. I never had cause to explore these parts before, for obvious reasons. I was 15 minutes early but decided to go in nonetheless, to show my anxiousness to be the best damn lunch lady ever. I found the cafeteria and the cook, clocked in and sealed my fate for the next 4 hrs.
I actually lost sleep thinking I'd not be able to do this job. I saw piles upon piles of potatoes to peel at breakneck speed. I don't peel potatoes. I draw the line there. I buy them pre-mashed in the refrigerated section. If you could buy REAL potatoes already mashed, why the hell wouldn't you?!
No potatoes today. Wanna hear what I did? I filled trays with bananas. I filled trays with yogurt. I scooped peanut butter into small cups and filled trays with that. I filled in the snack rack and the ice cream cooler. I made salad dressing. Why they do that is beyond me when it's better bought pre-made. I never got to touch a knife or the oven. They must've heard about me.
Then it was break time. A break after 2 hours, paid. You heard me right. This is in addition to everyone but me eating breakfast when they arrived. I declined the offer feeling guilty at the thought of sitting and eating instead of working. Yes, I am an overachiever. It obviously got me far in life. I took a flavored water for break and left the godforsaken thing there when I left. Aww, man! I'm thirsty just thinking about it.
After roughly 15 min. I was back to work. There were 5 of us if you include the cook. I was an extra to train. I guess that meant I got all of the work that nobody else wanted. I was busy for the next two hours straight. I don't know what they all did, but I am scared that when I actually fill in for someone there'll be more work than time to do it. I guess time will tell.
What did I do for two hours? I'll tell you. If you're still reading this you are obviously interested and deserve every bloody word. I ... washed ... dishes. Yup. They were the worst dishes I have ever washed, by far. Let me preface that by telling you, in case you hadn't heard rumor, that I DO NOT do dishes. Ever. I have a dishwasher for that. It's a really good one. It cleans anything but wood, which it would ruin, I am told. Therefore, when we use something wooden I make Todd(ler), my loyal hubby, wash it. So, gnarly these dishes were. Today's lunch was a hot dog roll buttered with garlic butter and covered in shredded mozzarella, baked and served with meat sauce to dip. That translates, if you don't speak lunch lady, into baked on, imbedded cheese. Every huge baking tray was covered. No parchment paper to protect the trays and save on work. That would've been too easy. I had to use a metal scraper and then a green scrubby. You're likely wondering if the school has a dishwasher. Yes, in fact, they do. It was me. The automatic dishwasher that just served to heat the room and make noise did nothing more. I was told, and it was true, that the dishes had to go in clean to come out clean.
There I was, scraping off the imbedded cheese and the nasty meat sauce from the baking implements. Then doesn't one of the real lunch ladies come by with a look of horror on her face. Turns out the serving trays, that the kids were dutifully piling up in front of me as they sneered on their way by my toil, were due in the front any moment for the second run of kids. Nobody felt the need to share that info with me. Super. So the two of us proceeded to rush the dirty trays through the dish wetter (we'll call it that since it doesn't actually wash). From then on I washed every tray as it got set down by the sloppy elementary schoolers.
Then, I looked at my watch for the first time. I was due to leave in 15 minutes! I had that dishwashing area all done and cleaned perfectly before my time was up. I was beaming with pride. Then I was offered lunch before I left, but again I passed.
I have my work physical tomorrow. I guess that entails giving me a TB test and making sure I am fit to lift 40 lb. trays. Wednesday I work at the middle school and Thursday the high school. I can hardly wait. Now my nightmares will be of tower upon teetering tower of filthy dishes.
Best part: no hair net required. Nope! I got to wear a hat. That was a load off my mind. :)
So that was my intro to lunch ladiness. Don't fall getting to the phone to see if your school needs one. Use your walking feet, please.
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